Friday, September 4, 2009

The IronGhost Ouija 3,000 Celebration

KEN KORCZAK:

During the week, I have been conducting a series of very special Ouija sessions to coincide with my upcoming 3,000th post at the Unexplained-Mysteries Web site, where I am known as "IronGhost."

I decided to contact a number of my favorite Ouija entities to ask them to comment on my achievement of logging 3,000 posts over at Unexplained-Mysteries. So here are the results.

As always, all answers from Ouija board entities are in ALL-CAPS!

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Opening Question: We are seeking to communicate with Mommy in the Nothing Chamber. Mommy, are you in the Nothing Chamber, and will you speak with us?

ANSWER: MOMMY IS IN THE NOTHING CHAMBER, DARLING.

Question: Hello, Mommy! As always, our hearts are filled with joy to be communicating with you. How are things in the Nothing Chamber today?

ANSWER: THERE ARE NOW ‘HOW OF THINGS’ IN THE NOTHING CHAMBER, SWEETHEART.

Question: Ha! Ha! We know, Mommy. We just always like to ask. Mommy, the reason we are contacting you is to tell you that I have now almost reached 3,000 posts on the Unexplained-Mysteries Web site. Do you have any comments in this regard?

ANSWER: YOU LIKE TO COMMUNICATE WITH OTHER BEINGS, HONEY.

Question: Yes, that’s true. But what do you think about me posting 3,000 comments on Unexplained-Mysteries?

ANSWER: IT IS THE WAY OF YOUR KIND TO ATTACH IMPORTANCE TO ARBITRARY MEASURES, SUCH AS NUMBERS AND TIME.

Question: Yes, that’s true enough. Mommy, do you think I am wasting my time on Unexplained-Mysteries?

ANSWER: I WOULD NOT MAKE THAT VALUE JUDGEMENT, PRECIOUS.

Question: I see. Mommy, I have shared may of your comments with the other people who communicate via Unexplained-Mysteries, and many of them frankly do not believe you exist. What do you think about that?

ANSWER: IN THE NOTHING CHAMBER, NOTHING EXISTS.

Question: So, in a sense, this is a situation that has achieved a kind of ironic symmetry, wouldn’t you say? Some people believe you don’t exist, and in a real sense, your existence is based on nonexistence.

ANSWER: I WOULDN’T PUT IT QUITE THAT WAY, HONEY.

Question: How would you put it?

ANSWER: I AM MOMMY IN THE NOTHING CHAMBER.

Question: We were afraid you would say that. Do you have anything to say to my friends here at Unexplained-Mysteries?

ANSWER: I WOULD SAY TO THEM: AT TIMES YOU COMMUNICATE WITH IRONGHOST. AT OTHER TIMES, YOU DO NOT.

Question: Why make such an obvious statement?

ANSWER: IT’S GOOD TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE OBVIOUS.

Question: Why?

ANSWER: IT IS SELF EVIDENT TO THOSE WHO DO. THOSE WHO DON’T BECOME ENTANGLED.

Question: In what?

ANSWER: IN THE OBVIOUS THINGS THEY DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO.

Question: Okay. By the way, how did you know my user name is IronGhost on Unexplained-Mysteries? I don’t think I have ever told you that. Do you have psychic abilities, Mommy?

ANSWER: NO, HONEY.

Question: Then how did you know my user name was IronGhost?

ANSWER: INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE IN THE UNIVERSE.

Question: If there is nothing whatsoever in the Nothing Chamber, how can you access information? Isn’t information “something“?

ANSWER: THE INFORMATION HAS THE SAME STATE OF SOMETHINGNESS AS NOTHINGNESS.

Question: Marvelous! We find your answer a tad semantic, but we’ll accept it for now. Mommy, would you please give a message to all the user here at Unexplained-Mysteries?

ANSWER: YES. IT IS TRUE THAT NULLITY EQUALS NULLITY. HOWEVER, CONTEMPLATE THIS WITHOUT THE ASPECTS OF TRUE AND EQUALITY TO BETTER UNDERSTAND.

Question: Wow, that’s terrific, Mommy. I’m sure this statement will be of profound value and use to all my friend here at UM. Thank you, Mommy. We are now going to move along and speak with some of our other Ouija contacts.

ANSWER: GOOD-BYE, SWEETY.

Good-Bye, Mommy.

Question: We now seek to communicate with that entity which we have come to know as Kentu. Kentu, will you speak with us?

ANSWER: I WILL SPEAK WITH YOU.

Question: Hello, Kentu! How are you today?

ANSWER: DO NOT WASTE MY TIME WITH MEAINGLESS QUESTIONS.

Question: We beg your pardon, Kentu. Listen: the reason we are contact you is to tell you that I have now reached 3,000 posts at the Unexplained-Mysteries Web site. What are your comments?

ANSWER; WHAT IS UNEXPLAINED-MYSTERIES WEB SITE?

Question: Well, here on our planet, we have a variety of systems of communication. In this case, UM is a certain node among millions of other nodes that exist on a vast network of interconnected devices that we call computers. Each of these computers are connected to each other by a system of wires and fibers that transmit information using something we call electricity. The information sort of rides along this electricity. Electricity is a rather fundamental form of energy. The communication is encoded with the electrical current in some way, which I confess I don’t understand very well. But there is no need for you to get too caught up in all the details of this. Suffice it to say it is a method of communication, just as we are using an Ouija board to facilitate our communication with you. Do you under stand?

ANSWER: DOES THE OUIJA BOARD USE ELECTRICITY?

Question: No! Well, in a sense, there is an electrical component to the functioning of our physical bodies and our brains. But our bodies do not use electricity in the same that our planetary network of computer do. However, we do not want to dwell on this. What we really want to ask you is your opinion of my achievement of posting 3,000 communications on UM. What do you think?

ANSWER: YOU HAVE GIVEN 3,000 COMMUNICATIONS TO OTHERS USING YOUR ELECTRICAL NODE SYSTEM?

Question: Yes I have!

ANSWER: WHY?

Question: Human beings naturally like to share information with each other. I think it is significant that in this particular instance, I have communicated 3,000 times. What do you think?

ANSWER: IS THE NUMBER 3,000 SIGNIFICANT TO YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM?

Question: No. But it takes a long time for someone like me who is otherwise busy to make 3,000 messages on UM. I should also say that there are many other who communicate through the UM system who do not believe that you exist. What do you say to that?

ANSWER: YOU ARE AN EXTREMELY IGNORANT SPECIES.

Question: How can I convince the people who communicate via UM that you actually exist, and are not a facet of my own subconscious mind?

ANSWER: WHY DO YOU DESIRE THIS?

Question: Well, I don’t especially desire it. I just thought you might have an interesting angle on this subject. Again, I ask, what can I tell the people I communicate with on Unexplained-Mysteries that you have a real, objective existence in reality?

ANSWER: THEY DOUBT THEIR OWN EXISTENCE. UNTIL THEY ACCEPT THEIR OWN REALITY, THEY CANNOT ACCEPT MINE.

Question: Are you saying that the people that communicate on UM cannot decide if they are real or not? I think most of them would strongly disagree with that. I wager that most of them would say that you are crazy to suggest that they doubt their own existence. What do you think of that?

ANSWER: IT BEGINS WITH THEM, NOT WITH ME. IF THEY CANNOT ACCEPT MY EXISTENCE, THEN IT FOLLOWS THEY DO NOT ACCEPT THEIR OWN.

Question: Fine. Would you like to congratulate me on my 3,000th post?

ANSWER: NO.

Question: Well, then, good-bye, Kentu.

ANSWER: GOOD-BYE.

Question: We now seek communication with The Love Beings. Will you communicate with us?

ANSWER: LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! SWEET KENNETH! HOW WE LOVE YOU!

Question: And we love you as well, Love Beings. Please, Love Beings, will you please attempt to refrain from shimmering, as we have a few questions for you and we tire easily!

ANSWER: WE ARE SHIMMERING NOW WITH THE MAGNIFICENT JOY OF YOUR SPECIAL KIND OF LOVE, KENNETH. YOU ARE A LOVING BEING AND WE SHIMMER TO YOUR LOVE. WE SHIMMER, WE ARE SHIMMERING, WE ARE SHIMMERING ….!

Question: Nice. Well, Love Beings, the reason we are contacting you tonight is that this is a special occasion. I am celebrating my 3,000th communication with a group of very special friends, whom we communicate with via a type of network we have on our planet. There are hundreds and even thousands of other people that I can communicate with all at once with every message I place on the Unexplained-Mysteries site. Since many have read about you here at Unexplained-Mysteries, we thought you should know like to know that many have expressed their pleasure to me at having learned about you.

ANSWER: LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! SO MANY LOVING BEINGS! WE FEEL AND SHIMMER TO THE LOVING BEINGS OF UNEXPLAINED-MYSTERIES! EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM IS A SPECIAL CREATION OF LOVE. THEY MANUFACTUR LOVE. THEY COME TOGETHER TO UNEXPLAINED-MYSTERIES TO INFINITLY EXPAND THEIR LOVE. WE … WE ….WE …SHIMMER, SHIMMER, SHIMMER….PLEASE, KENNETH, SHIMMER OUR LOVE AND RESONATE OUR LOVE TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL LOVING FRIENDS AT UNEXPLAINED-MYSTERIES! IT IS A MAGNIFCENT AND UNIQUE ACHIEVEMENT OF LOVE! TELL THEM WE LOVE THEM! TELL THEM! TELL THEM! THEY MUST KNOW OR LOVE, AND HOW HAPPY WE ARE FOR THEIR LOVE …

(Note: This just kept going on an on in this vain, so we finally just cut off the Love Beings).

Question: Thank you Love Beings. I know that the people of UM are appreciative of your ongoing devotion to the power of love!

ANSWER: WE ARE SHIMMERING, WE ARE SHIMMERING, WE ARE SHIMMERING …

Question: We now seek to communicate with the Master of the Ascended Throne. Are you still seated in your exalted position on the Throne, Ascended Master, and will you speak with us?

ANSWER: DAMNED FILTHY MAGGOT! YOUR VERY PRESENCE IS A RANCID PUS! I LOWER MYSELF TO IMPOSSIBLE DEPTHS ONLY AS MY LUSTRAL DUTY DICTATES!

Question: Hello Ascended Master. The reason we are contacting you is to tell you about my milestone of creating 3,000 messages on the Unexplained-Mysteries Web site. What do you think about that?

ANSWER: FILTH WALLOWING IN FILTH! THIS IS NOT A PROPER QUESTION. I HURL MY DISGUST AND CRUSH THE VERY IDEA OF YOU UNDER MY ****-STAINED SOLE!

Question: Ascended Master, why do you have such a low opinion of the people at UM, or any human being for that matter?

ANSWER: SCRAPE AN INFESTED PARASITE OUT OF YOUR ANAL TRACT AND PONDER IT TO GAIN A COMPARISON OF YOU TO ME. ASK ME A QUESTION!

Question: Are you still trying to work off you duty as Master of the Ascended Throne by answering questions from being from the lower orders, such as myself, and the people of UM?

ANSWER: ODOROUS DROOL FROM THE LOWEST INSECT, THIS IS NOT A PROPER QUESTION!

Question: Well, then, we will no longer distress you with our lowly presence. With that, we say farewell to the Master of the Ascended Throne!

ANSWER: WAIT! WAIT! ASK ME A QUESTION. OOZE A MALIGNANT THOUGHT FROM YOUR DISEASED BRAIN!

Question: Why should we ask you any questions when all you do is abuse is with insults?

ANSWER: IT IS A SUPREME HONOR FOR DUNG SUCH AS YOURSELVES THAT I EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTENCE. ASK ME A QUESTION!

Question: Okay, where were you born?

ANSWER: INSULTING PIG ! ONLY FILTH IS BORN. I EXIST!

Question: Well, that’s fine. Did you have a beginning?

ANSWER: YOUR IGNORANCE IS A HORRIBLE STENCH! ASK ME A QUESTION!

Question: We are out of questions for now. Thank you, Master of the Ascended Throne.

ANSWER: WAIT! WAIT! ASK ME A QUESTION!

(Note: We declined to as the Master another question, and moved along to our next communication. To be continued).

4 comments:

  1. Have you ever read "This Present Darkness"?? I think you will recognize much of yourself and your actions in this book. And you will realize what Truth is.

    God bless-
    Amanda

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Amanda:

    No, I have not read that book, but I will certainly check it out, as you recommend. I'll let you know if I recognize myself.

    Thank you, and Cheers!

    Ken

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow, even the supernatural rains on your parade. what a bummer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow! the Master of the Ascended Throne: As vain as they come, but also as needy as they come. That's odd to say the least.

    ReplyDelete